Mom Talk Monday: Leanne

Am I the only one who can't believe it's already Monday again?! Between Hadley's 1st birthday party, and the Super Bowl, it's like I blinked and the weekend was over! I can't wait to tell y'all all about Hadley's birthday party! We had such a great time, and I really think it turned out super cute! I'll share party pictures later this week though, because today is time for another Mom Talk Monday with my friend Leanne!

I met Leanne the day we arrived on Kwaj. I remember we went to a happy hour on the beach that some of our friends put on for us, and I sat down next to Leanne and immediately knew I liked her, and that I wanted us to be friends! She was that neat of a person! :) Leanne was so welcoming, and great about helping us acclimate to life out here, and was an even better resource when I became a new mom! She has helped me problem solve about everything baby...from teething, to feeding, sleep training and more. In addition to being a rock star mom and friend, Leanne is also a Board Certified Behavior Analyst and author of a wonderful and insightful parenting book called Parenting with Science: Behavior Analysis Saves Mom's Sanity! (Yeah she's super smart, too!) I'm so glad that I get to do mommy-hood/life with Leanne!

Fun Fact: Leanne and her husband Preston were one of our first friends to come and meet Hadley :)

That's my little love note about Leanne, but allow me to let Leanne introduce herself to you:

Leanne, her husband Preston, and their adorable daughter Elli!

Hi, I'm Leanne! I am a stay-at-home mom / wannabe writer/ Board Certified Behavior Analyst. My incredibly thoughtful (I mean loud)** husband and I have been married for almost five years and have a super fun 20-month-old daughter. Elli spent the first five months of her life on Kwajalein, but has since become a Texas girl. We live in Dallas now where Elli and I explore new places to see and things to do every week. I started a website, Parenting with ABA, and have written a book, Parenting with Science: Behavior Analysis Saves Mom's Sanity, with the mission to bring research-based behavior management techniques to all Moms of Littles. I hope that all those years I spent in grad school can help out my mommy friends!

*For the record, Leanne's husband Preston has one of the loudest laughs I have ever heard. He's famous for it. The first time I heard it, I didn't believe it was his real laugh! I totally love it though! If you're ever at a party where Preston is and you tell a joke or funny story and you worry nobody is going to laugh...never fear. Preston's got you covered. I'm fairly certain I thought I was a lot funnier than I was while Preston lived on Kwaj!

 

And here are Leanne's thoughts on Motherhood:

1) Hi Leanne! When I was pregnant, I loved reading other mom's birth stories! What was your delivery experience with Elli like?

I started having Braxton Hicks contractions on a Monday. I would just have to stop whatever I was doing and breathe a little until they passed. All I wanted to do was walk around, so we went all over DFW as tourists looking for air-conditioned places to walk. That Friday we were in downtown Ft Worth, in an Apple store, when the contractions got worse. (Apple store- my first clue that my child would be exactly like her father!) Saturday night I woke up around midnight because I was convinced someone was stabbing me with a knife. Hello, real contractions. My water broke while I was still in bed and I woke Preston up to head to the hospital! They gave me the good stuff when we checked in and I slept most of Sunday morning. I started pushing around 1:30pm and at 4:15 my baby girl was born. We waited to find out the sex and Preston got to announce to the world that “It’s a girl!” We had pink and blue leis ready to give our families who were in the waiting room. I could hear the cheering and yelling when P gave out pink leis for everyone to wear!

2) As someone who got to witness you experiencing motherhood for the first time, I have to say...I feel like you aced Parenting: Year One!! What was your favorite/hardest part of raising Elli during her first year?

You are entirely too kind. Teething was by far the hardest thing. (Besides moving across the globe with a 5 month old and re-entering life in the real world with a baby). Elli was/is TERRIBLE with the teething. We’re talking high fevers, losing all sleep habits, angry/cranky/crying baby, not eating, diaper issues, skin changes on her face, bleeding gums, you name it! We had every symptom possible with teething and she usually got at least 2 teeth at once. My pediatrician talked me through these for the most part. I also tried everything known to man- Tylenol, Ibuprofen (when she was older), amber necklace, teething tablets, frozen foods, cold teething rings, etc. The only thing that actually helped was medicine and snuggles. And a little Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

** Teething is the worst! I'm with Leanne on this one...medicine, snuggles, and in our case Sofia the First is what gets us through teething!**

 

3) On the subject of raising babies...Elli is now a full fledged toddler. How's that going for you? How has that changed your and Preston's parenting tactics?

 

My Elli girl saves all her drama for her mama. And oh my word the drama a 20 month old can have! These days it’s more about making sure Elli is always informed of what is going on, why I need her to do something, and giving her choices of appropriate options. For example, it doesn’t work to rock her to sleep when she wakes up in the middle of the night. Instead, I have to tell her that it is time for sleeping, it’s nighttime, we can’t play until the sun comes up, everyone else is asleep, etc. We use a lot of “First ____, then ____.” (One of my favorite behavioral tools)

We also stay busy! No more lazy mornings at home in our pj’s. Boredom = drama. We are all over the place with play dates, the gym, parks, story times, libraries, mall play areas, museum, arboretum, zoo, you name it!

(I'm quickly realizing this boredom = drama truth. We are having to go on more and more "adventures" otherwise Hadley girl goes bananas at home!)

 

4) In addition to being a mama you are also an author! Tell us a little bit about your background in education, and what inspired you to write your book!

I am a Board Certified Behavior Analyst, BCBA, and I’ve spent many years working with kids with autism and other developmental disabilities. My career field is all about promoting positive behaviors, creating individualized behavior interventions, and teaching replacement behaviors. I’ve survived approximately 1 bazillion meltdowns, tantrums, and aggressive episodes in my career- including a few notable injuries. I’ve helped children go from non-verbal to speaking in long sentences and conversations, from scratching/hitting/biting to following directions, from throwing computers at my head to being fully included in a regular class, and teenagers in diapers become toilet trained.

With all that background, I realized that many of the moms I meet now in my new SAHM life don’t have these positive behavior tools in their tool belts. So I decided it was obviously my job to share behavior analysis strategies with moms of littles! I do that through my website Parenting with ABA and also my book, Parenting with Science: Behavior Analysis Saves Mom’s Sanity.

5) What advice would you give to your former self or others about being a mom?

It’s the most exhausting job in the world, but it’s so worth it. Don’t get busy doing life and forget to stop and play with your child. Playing is the best. Meal prep, cleaning, laundry, emails can wait. Play now.
 
6) I think it's important for moms to remind themselves about their parenting successes as much as struggles and lessons learned. What is something that you and Preston see as your biggest success as parents?

Preston and I both struggled with how to answer this question. Our combined answer: teaching good sleep habits. Elli has been a champion sleeper since she was four months old and it’s so awesome! It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it!

P’s solo answer: being able to do his daughter’s hair. And she’s got some wild curls that are not easy to tame, especially when she is super wiggly! 

(Way to go Preston!! I'm still working on getting Johnathon to put a bow in Hadley's hair!)

My first thought: Elli recently said “I love you” spontaneously to me while leaning over to hug me. It was after one of my hardest weeks as a mother- when she fractured her tibia at 19 months old and it took six days and several un-fun doctor visits before we got a diagnosis and a walking boot cast thingy. I knew I must be doing something right after all!

7)And finally...just to keep it real...would you mind sharing a total parenting fail moment with us?

A story I share when I speak to mom groups is how even though I have multiple degrees in behavior modification- I forget about these strategies when emotions run high! Elli and I tagged along on a business trip to Denver when she was 19 months old. Because I thought a mini-vacay with a 19 month old was a good idea?! I took her to the Denver zoo- her first zoo experience. Well, she decided that she didn’t need a stroller. I disagreed. We had a major meltdown outside the tiger exhibit. I was trying to wrestle her into her stroller while people stared at the screaming tiny person and the red-faced, sweating mom. Suddenly I had a streak of brilliance! Talk to your kid! I asked her what she wanted- to walk. I pulled out our handy “First ___, then ____” technique. “First stroller, then walk.” She calmly sat down in her stroller. No more crying or screaming. DUH! Why didn’t I just talk to her about it in the first place instead of using WWF maneuvers?
 

And for fun, here are the rapid fire questions!

1) What is your coffee drink of choice? 

White chocolate latte. My espresso machine is in the shop for repairs and I’m DYING without a latte every day. Can you say spoiled rotten? (I remember how much use love your espresso machine got out here on Kwaj....you must be DYING!! At least you have Starbucks!!)

2) Go to meal on a busy weeknight? 

Anything from Costco that you just have to heat up. We love their tamales and several of their soups.

3) Guilty pleasure?

 Cheesy TV shows on Netflix. Recent favorite: Jane the Virgin.

4) Favorite Book and/or TV Show?

Book: I don’t have one favorite. Recent faves include A Town Like Alice, The Girl Who Saved the King of Sweden, Bossypants, For the Love.  

TV show: Veronica Mars.

5) If you had to pick only 1 beauty item to live with what would it be? 

Mascara. I’m a Texas girl. Even when I lived on the island, had a newborn baby, whatever, I wore mascara.

6) Favorite quote to live by?

 “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” -Gandhi
 
Thanks for taking the time to chat and sharing all your mommy insights, Leanne! If you want to learn more about parenting strategies and behavior modifications tools for your littles, don't forget to check out Leanne's website and book here! 

If you want to read previous "Mom Talk Monday" posts check out:

-Angela's Mom Talk
-Sarah's Mom Talk  

Happy Monday everyone!