Mom Talk Monday: Amy

After a short hiatus from my Mom Talk Monday segment, I am happy to announce that we are back to talking about all things mom! I'm even more excited to share my good friend Amy's thoughts on first time motherhood, infertility, and getting those babies to nap! The struggle is real, but Amy is rocking her first year of motherhood with her son, Kellen!

Before we jump into Amy's Q&A, let me first let Amy introduce herself...

Hi, I'm Amy! I am currently living on a little slice of paradise in the middle of the Pacific, but am a Texas girl through and through. I've been married to my rock star/engineer husband for 5 years now, and have spent 4 of those years on Kwajalein! In my former life, I was in veterinary pharmaceutical sales, and I must say, I really miss it. However, I am now a brand new stay-at-home mom (so weird to say that) to our 5 month old cutie, Kellen. We are having so much fun with him, more and more every day! I also have two amazing step daughters, who are 20 and 21! Greg has been wonderful about wanting to start ALL over again with a little one. I am one lucky gal.

As you could probably tell from above, I met Amy when we moved to Kwaj, and I can safely say that I have never met a more instantly welcoming, warm, and caring person than Amy. I don't think Amy knows a stranger, and I'm so glad that she was one of the first people I met when I got on island. I've gotten to know Amy so well over the last couple of years, and we have gotten to share so many ups and downs with each other, and we now get to be moms together! So fun! I know y'all will love Amy as much as I do!

 

Here are Amy's thoughts on Motherhood:

1) Hi Amy! Thanks for taking the time to chat about all things mommy today! I imagine being called 'mommy' is extra special to you since your road to becoming a mom wasn't an easy one. Would you mind telling us a little bit about your journey to becoming pregnant?

Absolutely! Greg and I met and married late in life, and since it has always been my dream to have children, we knew we needed to start trying for a family right away. We knew we had some obstacles to overcome, but really thought it would work out somewhat easily for us. Fast forward 2 years and no sign of anything promising! Because I was fast approaching 40, and we lived on a remote island without access to other less invasive options to try first...we skipped right ahead to IVF. (in vitro fertilization). Over the next two years, I traveled to Dallas and completed a total of four IVF cycles! It was the most difficult thing I've been through both physically and emotionally. After the 3rd cycle, I decided I couldn't do it anymore. Then, my dad's health was poor and I decided to travel to Texas for a visit. Since I was making the long trip to Texas anyway, I decided to transfer the last of our embryos left from previous cycles. I truly had zero expectations this would work, and suffice it to say...God had other plans and this time it was successful! Kellen is our miracle baby and we are so thankful!

 

I am still so amazed at the strength of Greg and Amy. They went through so many ups and downs on their journey to conceive Kellen, and I am so overjoyed that they finally got the blessing they and so many others prayed so hard for!

 

2) I know when I was pregnant I loved reading other women's pregnancy and deliver stories. Any memorable pregnancy/delivery stories that you would like to share with us?

Man, anyone who gets pregnant while living on Kwaj will always have some crazy stories to tell! This place makes everything interesting...always! Due to limited resources available on Kwaj, you must leave the island to head to the States as your due date gets closer. In the past this has been 36 weeks. Due to my "advanced age," (gosh I got tired of hearing that!) I was required to leave at 26 weeks! This means I spent almost half of my pregnancy away from my husband which was really tough. However, I have amazing family in Colorado that took me in and I stayed there until 6 weeks after Kellen was born! Greg traveled to CO about half way through our time apart, and we had a mini babymoon in Estes Park which was so fun! Then he came two weeks before my scheduled c- section, which was perfect. Luckily, none of the doom and gloom the doctors speculated about happened and I had a smooth pregnancy and delivery. I was gone from home almost 5 months, and I've never been so happy to get back home to my pups with our new baby in tow!

 

Going through a pregnancy and delivery on Kwaj is rough! At least I didn't have to go home until close to 36 weeks! Amy and Greg were such troopers!!

3) What were some of your favorite parenting and motherhood books you read while you were pregnant? Were there any that you felt helped the most or offered the most encouraging advice?

I read the usual, What to Expect When You're Expecting, Mayo's Guide to Pregnancy, and I'm not gonna lie...I'm kind of a Google fanatic. Yes, I'm that girl. However, I will say in my defense that my research via Dr. Google actually improved my chances of a successful IVF procedure, as well as helped me be an advocate for myself throughout that whole process. Being an older mom, I have had the privilege of being alongside several friends' pregnancies, and even got to be there to help bring one into the world. With that being said, I thought I had a good handle on what being a new mom would be like. I was wrong! It's so much better and harder than I ever imagined!

(I totally agree Amy! I don't care how many books you've read, or babies you've nannied, or pets you have...nothing prepares you for the crazy/exhausting/confusing/glorious task of raising a baby!)

 

4) I'm so excited you agreed to chat with me for the blog because I feel like you are right in the middle of the crazy/exhausting/hectic world of raising a newborn. What in your opinion was the most challenging part of the newborn period? Did any part of raising a newborn come as a surprise or shock to you?

I think the most obvious answer here is sleep. I know this isn't a shocker to anyone, but man, I definitely underestimated how much the lack of sleep would affect me! And also how much it affects our son when he doesn't sleep well. One thing I wasn't prepared for, and didn't understand how big of a deal it was, was having a plan for how to get my baby to nap. I truly thought he would naturally sleep a lot as a newborn, and he's just never been a great sleeper even from the beginning. He's always been very alert, and doesn't want to miss a thing. So it wasn't until we were back on Kwaj and really struggling with naps that I realized I needed to make that my number one priority. I've combined a few different sleep training methods and I think we've finally hit our rhythm! He's still waking once or twice in the night, but it's so much better than every 2.5-3 hours. It's amazing what a difference a 4 or 5 hour stretch of sleep feels like. I now feel like a human again! I look forward to him sleeping through the night, sooner than later. But I'll also admit that I enjoy getting those quiet moments with him all to myself in the wee hours of the morning.

5) What advice would you give to your former self or others about being a mom?

I think I would tell myself that it's okay when everything doesn't go as planned. I'm definitely a planner, and like to have the right expectations, but I'm learning that I just need to go with the flow more! I've also learned that every baby is so different, and I try not to compare mine to others. But most importantly, when I'm feeling really frustrated or am having a tough mom day, I remind myself of the days and years that I prayed fervently for the gift of this child. My prayer was that I get to experience it all - the easy, fun days filled with smiles and coos, and the covered in spit up, crying hysterically days. I am getting to experience that and then some. I am incredibly lucky that God chose me to be this precious boy's momma.

Amen!! I think every mom has to remind themselves that the days are long, but the years are short!! You are doing great, girl!

6) I feel like raising boys in today's age is vastly different than it was several generations ago. What virtues and traits do you and Greg most want to instill in your son as he grows to become a man?

That's a great question. I think most importantly, we want to raise a young man who is is confident in himself, and values God and his relationships with others. I want him to walk in love, truth and kindness. I want him to love life and experience it to the fullest! 

Greg and Kellen at Kellen's baptism on Easter Sunday

7) I think it's important for moms to remind themselves about their parenting successes as much as struggles and lessons learned. What is something that you and Greg see as your biggest success as parents so far?

For me, I would say that breastfeeding has been both a struggle and a huge success! My milk supply has never been fantastic, and I have had to really work hard at keeping it up. Kellen was jaundiced in the hospital and also had some low blood sugars, so they required me to supplement right from the get go. I think that affected my supply in a negative way, and I worked very closely with some lactation consultants to get my supply back up. Greg knew how important being able to successfully breastfeed was to me, and he was (and is) incredibly supportive. He stayed on top of making all bottles for supplementing with formula, washing those along with my pump parts, bringing water and snacks to me around the clock and helping me keep a schedule for feedings. Eventually I was able to stop supplementing around the third month, and I've been so proud of my accomplishment! Now Kellen refuses a bottle! Go figure. :)

Breastfeeding doesn't always work for everyone and I can completely understand why someone may not choose that route. For me, I really wanted to give it my all and hope for the best. I put a lot of time and energy into it and am so happy that we're five months in and going strong.

8) And finally...just to keep it real...would you mind sharing a total parenting fail moment with us?

When Kellen was just a couple weeks old, we were in a hurry to get to a doctor's appointment early one morning. Everything was a little crazy, trying to get him dressed, the diaper bag together, us dressed...plus there was ice on the car windshield. I had put Kellen into his carseat and snapped part of it, thinking Greg would do the rest. In our haste, when we got to the doctor and took him out of the car, we realized neither of us checked to make sure he was buckled in correctly. UGH! I felt terrible. Thankfully nothing happened but you can bet it never happened again. Since we are only a few months into this, check back with me in a few months- I'm sure I'll have ongoing fails!

 

 

And finally, here are the " Just For Fun" questions:

1) What is your coffee drink of choice?
Toffee Nut Latte

 

2) Go-to meal on a busy weeknight?
Spaghetti or Tacos

 

3) Guilty pleasure?
Dove Milk Chocolate and red wine

 

4) Favorite book and/or tv show?
Gone Girl/Breaking Bad

 

5) If you had to pick only one beauty item to live with, what would it be? 

Leave in Conditioner

 

6) Favorite quote to live by?
The best things in life are the people we love, the places we've seen, and the memories made along the way. 

 

Thanks for taking the time to chat with us today, Amy! I hope Amy's answers make anyone going through infertility or working their way through the newborn stage to know they are not in it alone, and the end result is so, so good!