I blame mom blogs. Shortly after we got married, I was bitten by the baby bug...bad. I began finding all of these great "mom blogs" out there, and started to read about all the things I had to look forward to. Sure there were the occasional posts about messy playrooms, tummy bugs, or potty training difficulties, but more often than not, I was reading about how these women were making homemade, organic playdough, sewing their own baby clothes, and whipping up a delicious crock pot recipes like it was nothing. I began to have visions of me wandering the aisles of Hobby Lobby with an adorably clean and well behaved toddler while sipping on my pumpkin spiced latte, and picking out perfect Christmas decorations. MOTHERHOOD WAS GONNA ROCK! I was ready to be THAT mom.
I was nine months pregnant, and we were very ready to meet Hadley Kate. I had read several baby books ( Baby Wise, Baby Whisperer, etc) and I was so sure that I had all the tools to make my baby a great sleeper and a perfect newborn. We brought Hadley home, and I was ready to hit the ground running with establishing a routine, and overall winning at this new mommy thing.
It took approximately 24 hours for me to have my first meltdown. The nurses at the hospital had bragged about what a well behaved baby Hadley had been in the nursery. So why was she waking up ever hour and half at night?? Didn't she know she was supposed to be on a 3 hour schedule? Didn't she know she was supposed to stay awake after eating THEN sleep? Then at about 3 weeks she started struggling through her feedings, I had to go dairy free, and Hadley got put on Prilosec for reflux. Oh, and she also screamed her head off from 5-7pm everyday for no apparent reason. I was exhausted and frustrated and we were only 1 month into this whole parenting gig. This was so not what my mom blogs and baby books had described to me.
In Hadley's defense it wasn't all bad. After the first couple of nights home from the hospital she did fall into a 3 hour schedule, and by about 1 month she was sleeping in 4-5 hours stretches at night, and by about 2 months she would sleep from 10:30pm-8am with only 1 feed at 5am. Now here we are at 14 weeks, and Hadley sleeps 12 hours at night, and takes 3 solid naps a day. She still gets tired in the evenings but we have found ways to calm her (bouncy seat, long walks outside), and her reflux is getting under control. My mom kept telling me that something happens around the 3 month mark, and that even the toughest babies get a lot more fun. Thankfully, we have found this to be true!
In the beginning, all these older women who's children are full grown would come up and ask me "Isn't having a baby just so much fun??" I would muster up my best smile and just say "Mmmm hmmm sure is!" But I was thinking to myself, " How could they think this is fun? I'm just trying to get through the day!" I hate that that's how I felt the first couple of weeks. I loved my daughter more than I have loved anything else in my entire life, but I wouldn't say our first couple of weeks were "fun." They were tiring, exhausting, and sometimes very frustrating. But then one day she started smiling at us. Then she started cooing and making adorable little noises. Then she discovered her hands. Then there was the day that I could go grocery shopping with her, and she wouldn't melt down midway through the cereal aisle. And now every time Johnathon or I go and get her out of the crib, she gives us the biggest smile, and I can tell she's happy to see us. Johnathon and I read a quote that says "parenting is a conglomeration of all the things I've never learned." We have certainly found this to be true. I know we are only 3 months in, and that we still have many sleepless nights ahead of us. There will be teething, and potty training, and temper tantrums, but right now I am having so much fun with my daughter! We made it through the newborn stage, a little tired, but so in love with our little girl.
I read a quote on one of these mom blogs that said "Comparison is the thief of joy." I love this and repeat it to myself often. I think part of the reason I didn't find the newborn stage all that much "fun" is that it wasn't at all what I was picturing. I saw all these women with "perfect babies" that could tag along to brunch with their friends and their baby wouldn't make a peep. Their babies ate only homemade baby food, and their mom's left the hospital wearing their non-maternity, size 4 jeans. I was left wondering what was wrong with me? What parenting mistakes was I making that I wasn't able to accomplish all these things and still find time to make organic, homemade playdough?? How were they finding time to get dressed, and do their hair, and I hadn't made it out of the same pair of yoga pants in 3 days??? But then it dawned on me...my baby is happy, and healthy. I am doing the best that I can, and THAT IS ENOUGH. To Hadley, I am the greatest mommy in the world, and that is all that matters.
Bloggers often put there best foot forward, and showcase the glamorous, organized side to their lives, so that people can find inspiration. This is a good thing, and I've found great ideas from reading them. But I have to remind myself that is not there lives all day everyday. Every mom has bad days, or days the laundry doesn't get done, or a new outfit that gets pooped on in public. It happens. To everyone.
So I'm 3 months in to parenting, and I feel like I've learned so much about how to be a mom, and about Hadley. I know now what each of her cries mean, what makes her smile, and how to get her to take a bottle when she's over tired. I also know that there are many, MANY more lessons to learn, and that parenting will get easier and harder all at the same time. Finally, I know that I can only be the kind of mom that comes naturally to me. I may never get around to that homemade playdough, and that is okay, because instead I spent 10 minutes blowing raspberries on my daughter's tummy, and watching her giggle. So to all my new moms out there...if you feel like your not acing this whole parenting thing, I promise you are! And if you ever need reassurance, look for me and Hadley at Hobby Lobby...I will be the one in yoga pants, wearing no makeup, with a highly caffeinated pumpkin spiced latte ...loving every minute of it. Mostly :)
And because no blog is complete without pictures, here are some pictures of the rough early days and the cutie pie that is Hadley Kate:
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| I had plans to get all pretty for my hospital photos, but I was busy throwing up in between contractions so that didn't happen :) |
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| Bath time in the beginning required all hands on deck |
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| I pretty much spent the first 6 weeks after Hadley was born wearing pajamas and staring at Hadley and thinking how gorgeous and exhausting she was |
And because this is my blog, after all, I get to still put my best foot forward...so here are some of my "put together" mommy pictures
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| Hadley and I on Mother's Day |
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| It takes a village to raise a baby...so lucky to have so many moms and babies on Kwaj with us! |
